Thank the Lord for Miracles and Baseball!

Well, as you and the rest of baseball fandom know, the Red Sox won the World Series. We met our buddies, the Brandleys, at McDonald's for celebratory ice cream and hoped that Boston's win would award us the Luck we needed to finally get pregnant. We had much to celebrate in the King house that night, so with Meg and Phil's blessing we returned home, and celebrate we did ;)

2 weeks passed. On Tuesday morning, Nov 19th, I awoke feeling... different. Something just felt new. I still hadn't started, but still had a couple of days before I was supposed to. I wanted to get thoughts of "maybe I am pregnant" out of my head and move on, so I grabbed my last pregnancy test. I waited the 3 minutes as nonchalantly as usual--after 30+ negative pregnancy tests you begin to expect nothing more... I picked up the test to throw it in the trash, as I always have. I prepared to grasp my chest together, as I always have, when my heart broke again over another failed test.

Before I dropped it into the trash 2 blue lines caught my eye.
There's never been 2 LINES before! I thought...
I pulled the box and test instructions out of the trash and frantically held the test beside the examples to double and triple check that I was sure of what I was seeing and began to laugh hysterically as I tried to find the words,
"Ppp... Prregg... Pregnant! I'M PREGNANT!"

As the realization of my dreams finally coming true rushed over me I fell on the bed and began to just bawl, and laugh, and pray. I poured out my thanks to God between bursts of laughter and overwhelming tears. I could not believe this was really and truly, finally happening! It couldn't be real! But I knew it was.
How was I going to tell Tyler?!

I picked up the phone and greeted him with sobs. Thinking I must have found out I wasn't pregnant Tyler asked if everything was okay, and I just blurted out
"I just took a test and I am pregnant!"
"WHAT?!" was all Tyler could blurt out back to me...
"Hold on Hold on... Okay I was about to walk in to a meeting. What did you just say to me???"
"Tyler, I'm pregnant!"
All I wanted to do was be right beside him and hug him so tight as we both cried tears of joy over the phone. It was the happiest moment of my life, getting to tell Tyler he was going to be a father. 

We both had long days at work but, I think, when we finally got to see each other that night, it was the longest hug in history! Nothing could possibly feel more happy than this...

Or so I thought, until we saw our tiny little bean, measuring 6 weeks, the following week. Everyone at Reproductive Care Center congratulated us and we showed pictures of what we thought was the most beautiful thing in the world, which looked like a tiny gray blob to everyone else. And again we thought that nothing could possibly make us happier...

Then, at 8 weeks, we heard the thud of Baby Boston's heartbeat. We melted. Our hearts were absolutely had by this little one now and forever.

And then, at almost 12 weeks, we were going to share the happiest news of our lives with all of you. Our hearts were so full we could burst! But, at todays's appointment, we discovered our worst nightmare. The doctor searched for the baby and could find no heartbeat. I think my memory will never lose the image of the look on her face when she looked me in the eye, grabbed my hand and explained to me what was happening. Tears filled her eyes as my world crashed around me and the sound of Tyler's quiet sobs traveled across the room.

The baby had stopped growing since the last appointment and there was no longer a heartbeat.

Our hearts shattered in to a million pieces as the doctor explained to us that we had experienced a "Missed Miscarriage," where there are no signs that the baby has been lost. We sat in shock while the tears flowed. All the words i could form were, "Please, God. No." This could not be happening. When would I finally wake up? It has to be a dream, right?

It's not a dream. It's so very real. Our tiny little hope of a baby is still inside me, but its heart isn't beating anymore. That beautiful sound we fell in love with a few weeks ago has vanished. And, now, I feel as if my own heart can't beat either.

I feel so incredibly blessed to have had the time I did to carry this sweet Baby Boston. It truly is the greatest blessing that God can give to women, even if I only had 12 weeks to enjoy it. We treasure the time we had, and we will treasure Baby Boston in our hearts forever. 

I am grateful for the last 2 years that have taught us to lean on the Savior, and that made me appreciate this opportunity so much these last few months. My heart will never be the same and forever ache for the baby I wished so much to hold.

Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers.

and Thank you, Lord, for Miracles and Baseball.

Much love.