Resolve to know MORE
#Resolve #ResolveToKnowMore #NIAW
I sincerely hope that those who have followed us on our journey feel more educated about Infertility. I know that Tyler and I certainly had NO idea what infertility really meant before we faced it. Most of us figure we'll decide to have a baby, try for a few months, and BAM! We'll be pregnant. However, for 1 in 8 couples, it won't happen that way...
And we are the 1 in 8.
I always thought that Infertility referred to those who could never have children, or if you were old and had been for trying for years and years. I never thought, at the age of 24, when I expressed concern to my doctor after trying to conceive for 9 months that she would recommend we start researching Infertility and begin treatment. How would I have known that my progesterone levels are practically non-existent? Or that I rarely, if ever, ovulate on my own?
So, almost 2 1/2 years and 1 miscarriage later, HERE WE ARE!
Still crying, still hoping, and still trying.
What do you know about Infertility?
According to the World Health Organization: Infertility is defined as "a disease of the reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a clinical, full-term pregnancy after 12 months of regular unprotected sexual intercourse."
It is a disease.
We aren't struggling, paying tons of money to get pregnant because we haven't relaxed enough.
*insert eye roll & you-are-dead-to-me stare here*
According to Resolve.org: 30% of Infertility problems are male, 30% are female, 20% is unexplained, and 10% is a combination of problems with both partners.
Infertility affects 7.3 million people in the U.S., or 1 in 8 couples.
(2002 National Survey of Family Growth)
But for couples enduring infertility, it is SO much more than scientific facts and statistics.
It is heartbreaking.
I have wanted nothing more than to be a mother since I was a little girl who played with her dollies. I was ALWAYS the Mom when I played house with my friends. I started babysitting my cousins when I was 9 years old. By the time I was 12, babysitting was my regular source of income, and by 17 I had a steady Nanny job after school. I always imagined growing up, graduating from college, getting married and having babies. That was my life plan... So when I had the husband and the degree, the next step was obvious.
We had no idea that we would be starting such a long journey. Infertility is different for everyone. For some, it takes years to get pregnant. For some, it takes medications to correct problems. For some, it takes expensive & invasive treatments. For some, it means that natural conception is not an option. For some, it means enduring numerous miscarriages. There are many different journeys, but they all cause heartache. They are all expensive and inconvenient and unfair. And while there is a growing community trying to raise awareness, it is still a very misunderstood disease. We are constantly bombarded with people who try to diagnose us, or tell us we're just overthinking it. We kind of want to punch those people in the face, just a little.
So, How do you know if it is time to see a specialist?
It is suggested to see a Reproductive Specialist after 12 months for women under 35, but after just 6 months if the woman is over 35. If you are looking for a great clinic in the Salt Lake City, UT area, consider
! Everyone here is so caring and genuinely invested in you. We have loved this office. When we found out we were pregnant they jumped and cheered with us. When we lost the pregnancy at 12 weeks, they cried with us. When we needed time to grieve before trying again, they supported us.
How can you support family/friends facing Infertility?
RESOLVE TO KNOW MORE!
If your friends or family members are open with you about the medicines they are taking or the treatment they are undergoing, you can do research so that you can try to better understand what they are going through. You can check in with them to see how they are doing, be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen. Even if you haven't gone through Infertility struggles doesn't mean you can't be sensitive to their pain.
Now, not everyone chooses to be as open about their struggles as others. Not everyone is crazy enough to post his/her intimate feelings and struggles on the world wide web.
Who has two thumbs and shares way too much information?
If, that is the case, and friends or family have alluded to or only expressed limited details about infertility struggles, respect their privacy! Let them know you are there to support them, but don't bother them for details. Infertility is a very emotional and private matter for most couples, and the best you can do is just love them and pray for them. If you are announcing a pregnancy, be sensitive to those around you. Be understanding and share with them privately, send a note or an email. It's not that we aren't happy for you, but it is definitely nice to have private time to react. We want to be able to show you our excitement and support, but we might need a little time.
If you wonder why a couple may not have any children,
I know I've been over this before, but I'll say it again,
IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Some couples may not ever tell anyone about their infertility struggles. (Not everyone is going hashtag
, sharing pictures of ovulation tests and blood draws.) They certainly don't need you to painfully remind them when you ask, "Why don't you have any kids yet??"
Resolve to know more.
Learn more, so you can be a better friend and loved one. Learn more, so you can be more considerate. Learn more, so you can be supportive.
Thanks much from Infertiles everywhere.