My first Mother's Day

Well, my first Mother's Day was definitely different than I would have imagined at the start of the year. Everything about this year is entirely different than what we expected when 2014 began.

I had imagined celebrating my first Mother's Day 7 months pregnant, impatiently awaiting the arrival of our little Baby Boston. But instead, I woke up with the most clear reminder that I was NOT pregnant. (I've decided that starting your period on Mother's Day is the most painful slap to the face there is.)

I had been having the most fun visit in CA with my family for my first nephew's first birthday. I was too busy having a blast to think about what the morning of Mother's Day would feel like. I didn't give it much thought. But then, I woke up and realized how hard it felt. I had my moment as my parents drove me to the airport. After opening my first two Mother's Day cards from my Mom and sister-in-law and broke down in the car. I kept my sunglasses on and cried in the airport while I waited for my flight, and I cried when the JetBlue flight attendant said over the intercom, "We would like to wish all the Mothers on our flight today a very happy Mother's Day."

Ty picked me up from the airport, and as soon as I got in the car he handed me a card and gift, and said "Happy Mother's Day, babe." Tears again! but happy tears. He thought of me. He looked at me and I knew he didn't see me as broken. He looks at me and sees Boston's Mommy. My heart was overwhelmed. Tyler King is too amazing. I can't believe I am so lucky!

I don't hate Mother's Day. It is a hard day for infertiles and those who have suffered loss, but I think Mother's Day is one of the best holidays. Mothers should be celebrated for all they do, how they serve and sacrifice for their families. And I'm grateful, even though I don't yet have any children here on earth to celebrate my motherhood, that my sweet husband, family, and friends made sure to remind me that I am still a mother. I gave Boston a home for 3 months inside my body. He became part of me, and my heart grew with more love than I knew it could possess. I am his Mommy, and I get to celebrate Mother's Day because of those 3 months that changed my life forever.  

My love and prayers go to all of those struggling to start families and those living in the wake of loss. Motherhood doesn't solely apply to those physically caring for children. It is a celebration of women everywhere! Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Sisters, Cousins and Friends who influence and love any children in their lives. 

I hope you all had a Happy Mother's Day!