Its hard to believe that July has arrived and is almost over! I thought winter would never end, and then, suddenly, summer is almost over. What's harder to believe is that summer will come and go, and Boston won't be here. Some days it really still surprises me. And I'm amazed by that. I just keep thinking I'll get used to it. But every now and then, I wake up in disbelief that it's not January 10th and this hasn't just been the most horrible nightmare.
Next Tuesday will be my due date, but I won't be going to the hospital or bringing home a new baby. Instead, I'll be spending the day in Park City with Tyler. It will be an amazing day together, I'm sure, and its not a bad way to spend the day, but it's not what I had in mind for July 29th 6 months ago.
I have been running on a serious happy high for the past few weeks. We've just been loving life and feeling great. I got really settled into that and thought the rest of the month would just be a total breeze and not phase me, that I could just keep feeling fantastic. But, unfortunately, I'm actually a human being with a heart. And that heart is still pretty tender.
Tomorrow is another day, and I'm sure I will feel brighter soon, but for now I'm just going to carry my heavy heart, have a good solid cry and miss the baby I never got hold. What else can I do? Sometimes ya just need a good cry.