In the beginning first years of trying to conceive the loneliness of Infertility first began to sink in. Both of our siblings, many of our closest friends and coworkers started their families, and we felt completely alone in our journey. Little did we know then that 3 years later we'd still be on that journey, but we'd be anything but lonely...
Infertility can become an incredibly lonely and depressing disease. If you let it consume you it can destroy your soul. While so many around you start and continue to grow their families you can feel hopelessly alone, like no one can understand. And, truly, if they haven't been through it they just can't understand the heartbreak.
In the beginning, we felt this. We felt so alone. We began to become disconnected and we each felt lonely even when we sat side by side. Infertility can also destroy relationships if you let it. Blame, misunderstanding, depression, feelings inadequacy, and anger can break even the strongest bonds. I blamed myself for our struggles and hated that my body could work like it should. Tyler couldn't understand how it felt to be the problem and couldn't figure out how to make me understand that he didn't blame me. I struggled emotionally. Tyler struggled spiritually. We were overwhelmed and hopelessly lonely.
But, ya know what? We weren't alone, and neither are you.
Soon, we realized that we were surrounded by family and friends who loved us, supported us, stood by us, prayed for us and hugged us. By opening up and starting this blog, I discovered an amazing community of men and women who knew exactly how I felt. We were introduced to new people who could relate and cultivated new friendships over joys and sorrows and tears.
Last, but never least, we came to know the Savior and the atonement in a way that made it impossible to ever feel alone again. His arms of grace encompassed us, and we were made whole.
We are not alone and friends, neither are you.
When you cry over another negative pregnancy test - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you feel defeated and discouraged - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you've spent more on trying to have babies than a new car - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When hope seems lost - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you are crazy from hormone meds and shots - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you lose the pregnancy you've long waited for - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you lose it over a pair of crib shoes in the baby department - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you are scared - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you are tired - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When you want to give up - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
When it seems like everyone is having babies but you - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
We are not alone. You are not alone. We are 1 in 8.