In the Darkness

"Healing comes when we move away from the darkness and walk towards the light."
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Do you feel trapped in the dark? Does it feel like there will never be light at the end of your long, dark tunnel? Are you too scared to move to search for it?

Sometimes we are confronted with something so hard or so scary; we can feel paralyzed by the darkness it brings. Sometimes it feels like we are so surrounded by darkness, when we'd only need to take few steps to find the light. Sometimes in our anger and our self-pity over the lot we have been cast that we stand, unwilling to move. Sometimes we are simply too stubborn to turn around and notice the light is right behind us. If only we would choose to see all the light that does surround us, all the good that remains even during times of trial. 

Sometimes it is more than prideful anger that keeps us in the dark. Sometimes it can feel like a fog you cannot dream to navigate, and it isn't just a few steps into the light. The darkness of depression can be absolutely overwhelming. Sometimes it can take tripping, falling and crawling to get out. It can be a battle through the blackness, but it makes the light all the more brilliant when you get there. 

I have found myself in both situations on the hardest days of my journey. There have been times when my choice to be angry and jealous has clouded my mind so greatly that I refused to see any of my blessings. And there have been plenty of days so shrouded by my depression that I felt choked by the darkness.

We all have trials to face. Everyone must endure darkness at some point in their life. But it is our choice to let that darkness take us, or to try to get to the light.

Infertility, loss, postpartum, depression, and anxiety can all cause a dark and hopeless cloud to blind us from the light of happiness. But I promise you that feeling does not have to last.

You can find peace in turmoil. There is shelter from the storm. Hope will follow despair. And comfort will come to mend heartache. You just have to choose it. You must choose to see the good things and count your blessings. Miracles only happen when you are watching, and blessings are only visible when you are looking.

So if you are angry, let it go. If you are jealous, start be grateful for the things you have. If you are struggling with infertility, open up to others for support. If you have lost a pregnancy or a child, turn to service to fill your heart. If you are facing depression or anxiety, do not be afraid to get professional help.

And last, but not least: Pray. Pray to be uplifted. Pray to be comforted. Pray to be strengthened. Even in the darkest times, God has never left you.